There's another golden RTX 5090 made of over 1,000x more gold than the first, and I'm pleased to say it's absolutely hideous

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I actually really like this graphics card. No, really: If there’s one thing I like it’s something that fully encapsulates an age. And if there’s something that sums up 2025, or even the past few years, it’s this fully golden RTX 5090 worth about $500,000 (via Tom’s Hardware). Completely unaffordable, unnecessary, and perhaps most crucially, hideous.

The Asus RTX 5090 ROG Astral Real Gold Edition was displayed at Bilibili World 2025, and you can click “see more” on the X post below to get a full view of this monstrosity.

That’s not just me ragging on something golden because it’s golden, either. It looks like this poor sucker has been through a bad moulding process because there are so many chips and rivets running through the surface that it looks a little more like a cheese sculpture than a golden one.

This doesn’t even look to be a working card, just a decorative one, which kinda makes it worse. Maybe if you had it inside an RGB-lit PC case and squinted very hard you could think it passes as a nice smooth gold, but just as a display? Even if $500k was a pittance to me, I genuinely think I’d be more embarrassed than proud to put it on display.

And that’s part of what makes it such a chef’s kiss to the year of our lord 2025: It’s an attempt at sheer exuberance, but it’s poorly executed. Like a $1,000 gourmet burger in a Bic Mac wrapper.

Still, gold is gold, I suppose, so maybe this could be a cool way to store your wealth if you’re one of those gold standard types. Need to take it to the bank, or bury it in an undisclosed location? Just melt it down into a standard bullion mould.

For my money, I’ll take the (*checks notes*) 1,100x less gold that coats the actually functional and rather pleasant-looking Asus ROG Astral RTX 5090 Dhahab graphics card. Another exuberant display, for sure, and still expensive at what seems close to $8,000+, but at least it looks good and presumably works.

Still, I suppose this must all be ringing very much like the plebian standing at the gates of the Roman banquet, shouting with futile abandon upon deaf ears.